Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.

I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.

A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'

I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.

Let each new year find you a better person.

Things don't change. You change your way of looking, that's all

The age-old and noble thought of 'I will lay down my life to save another,' is nothing more than cowardice.

I think it's necessary to keep moving forward. I've always said that nostalgia is death, really for anyone creative.

I will gladly lecture for fifty dollars, but I'll not be a guest for less than a hundred.

Boris [Johnson] and Dave [Cameron] gnawed each other's testicles [during the Tory civil war which blighted the EU referendum].

You're the only one in control over your golf ball. It's not like tennis: you're hitting a shot and somebody's hitting it back at you.

Some people should die that's just unconscious knowledge.

It's better to be good than evil, but one achieves goodness at a terrific cost.

I was obsessed with politics in the '80s. I've recovered and I'm feeling much better now, thank you.