Edgy is fine - I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but what's wrong with a good ol' belly laugh? I miss that.

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.

When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.

Before you go to bed, write down three 'gratefuls' for the day and three 'did wells' (they can even include something as simple as doing the laundry)-the results can be amazing!

It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.

You have to have faith that there is a reason you go through certain things. I can't say I'm glad to go through pain, but in a way one must, in order to gain courage and really feel joy.

If someone tells you that you cannot do something and you believe it, they are right.

It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.

It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.

No one ever said life was fair. Just Eventful.

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Even I, as sick as I am, I would never be you. Even I, sick and depraved, a traveler to the grave, I would never be you.

Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect

Book love... is your pass to the greatest, the purest, and the most perfect pleasure that God has prepared for His creatures.

With you, what you see is what you get. And I see cheap.

I read that prior to the advent of color TV, most people dreamed in black and white.

Pain and suffering only occur in temporal time. They don't occur in the world of forever. They only occur in limited transient time, which is a state of mind.

If you put something together and it doesn't look so good, the fashion police are not going to come and take you away. And if they do, you might have some fun in jail.

Like all bands, the first two albums are always the ones most written about, and the most covered. When a band gets to their third of fourth album, the story of the band has already been told.

I really like life, don't you? There's nothing else quite like it.

We will not leave this nation at the mercy of YouTube and Facebook.