Education is being redefined at the demand of the uneducated to suit the ideas of the uneducated. The student now goes to college to proclaim, rather than to learn.

In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism. They have formed their own 4-H Club - the 'hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history.'

There are people in our society who should be separated and discarded.

Some newspapers are fit only to line the bottom of bird cages.

An intellectual is a man who doesn't know how to park a bike.

Three things have been difficult to tame: the oceans, fools and women. We may soon be able to tame the oceans; fools and women will take a little longer.

Some newspapers dispose of their garbage by printing it.

Perhaps the place to start looking for a credibility gap is not in the offices of the Government in Washington but in the studios of the networks in New York!

Yippies, Hippies, Yahoos, Black Panthers, lions and tigers alike - I would swap the whole damn zoo for the kind of young Americans I saw in Vietnam.

I apologize for lying to you. I promise I won't deceive you except in matters of this sort.

Confronted with a choice, the American people would choose the policeman's truncheon over the anarchist's bomb.

Laziness always wins.

Incorrect documentation is often worse than no documentation.

I want to do rock operas.

I wish I were that cat.

The picture itself is a document. How do you mean? We're looking at a document. It gives you clues.

Punctuality is a virtue, If you don't mind being lonely.

I want to thank the good lord for making me a yankee

The big play comes with the pass.

As a kid, I might have been psycho, I guess, but I used to throw golf balls in the trees and try and somehow make par from them. I thought that was fun.

Send 10-TEN!!-people flowers. Today. As "Thank yous" for good things "small"-or even large-done in the last two weeks.