Education isn't everything, for a start it isn't an elephant

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

Your message, your ministry, your influence is built from your flaws. People relate to HUMANITY...not perfection.

One's ribs shouldn't be prison bars.

I am very fond of truth, but not at all of martyrdom.

We can't fight and beg from those we fight at the same time.

Taiwan is an independent, sovereign country.

Inexperience is what makes a young man do what an older man says is impossible.

I do believe that people who write for children are deeply connected to their own childhood.

Television is not the exclusive target of promoters. Is Superman really worthy of a Newsweek cover?

Politics is about listening and it's about leading.