Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn?

Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates.

The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes.

The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners.

Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.

Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life.

I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed.

I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains.

Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion.

If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other.

Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers.

Love is a feeling that is imposed on you. You cannot be lazy

There will always be something a little off, but like a three-legged dog, you’ll learn to walk again.

Certainties are arrived at only on foot.

The 'cash for clunkers' program was a big success in part because it gave people the sense that the economy was moving.

I used to wear more makeup, but I've learned to enjoy being natural.

Every once in a while, something happens to you that makes you realise that the human race is not quite as bad as it so often seems to be.

I think that this media online stuff makes us all sick. We think we have to be online all the time.

The only security for the American people today, or for any people, is to be found through the control of force rather than the use of force.

The web: yet another total disorientation that becomes status quo without anyone realizing it.