Education n: that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

I spent the first half of my life making money and the second half of my life giving it away to do the most good and the least harm.

My momma used to kick in the door like SWAT!

Free yourself. Live your life. Stop apologizing for who you are.

When starting out, don't worry about not having enough money. Limited funds are a blessing, not a curse. Nothing encourages creative thinking in quite the same way.

Every musician wants to do something which will hold up for a long time, and I guess we did it with 'Stairway to Heaven.'

Why would you be given wings if you weren't meant to fly?

Accept the fact that you are accepted, despite the fact that you are unacceptable.

If the U.K. were threatening to withdraw from Europe, I would certainly want Scotland to be out of that.

The way to really create justice for workers in America is to create job growth.

To avoid the consequences of posterity the mulattos give the blacks a first class letting alone. There is a frantic stampede white-ward to escape from Jamaica's black mass.