Egocentric: A person who has his I's too close together.

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

Scott: I don't think I'm ready to be a grown-up. Kim: I don't think you are either, buddy. But hey, you'll get it. It just takes practice.

Metaphor is embodied in language.

This is the central principle of meditation: we become what we meditate on.

I think when you evolve into a headlining act and things get bigger, the intimacy, and some of that energy gets lost a little bit.

All perishable is but an allegory.

If I'd wanted to be an individual, I'd have taken up tennis.

I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.

Happy (if mortals can be) is the man,Who, not by priest but Reason, rules his span:Reason, to its possessor a sure guide,Reason, a thorn in Revelation's side.

I discover no kinship, no understanding, no mercy. I see only the overwhelming indifference of nature.

If there's anything more arrogant than a Marine on a horse, it's one in a plane.