Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.

And hope was an oath I swore never to take.

Love of God and people will pave roads where there once were none.

I measure the progress of a community by the degree of progress which women have achieved.

There is not a single Muslim leader today who has the courage and commitment to defend Islam and Muslims, they are all in awe of the United States and other Western powers, and are indebted to them.

I have a record that I'm so very, very proud of, and no campaign is going to take that away.

I often talk to myself while walking down the street. I did it as a kid.

Those Europeans, they know how to negotiate.

Sometimes, you need a door slammed in your face before you can hear opportunity knock.

Comedians have a huge carte blanche and the ability to get away with saying a lot of things.

I think music all the time.