Either all days are holy or none are.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Stealing isn't so easy, often it's hard work, otherwise we'd all be doing it.

Well, I've kept you waiting long enough, " he said, peering at me from that distance which drinking adds between people and which, at odd turns in the evening, seems closeness itself.

Ride the horse in the direction that it's going.

T'was the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

It was repugnant, but it was the only way to communicate.

You manufacture beauty with your mind

Self-knowledge is better than self-control any day," Raquel said firmly. "And I know myself well enough to know how I act around cookies.

The mind's direction is more important than its progress.

As long as a certain problem primarily affects a different country, in this case Italy, one might not put it at the very top of one's list of priorities.

A father carries pictures where his money used to be.