Elvis is in the kitchen and he’s making eggs Benedict!

There’s no way to stand up gracefully when your pants are down around your ankles.

You tell me the dead are coming through a crack in my barn, but I shouldn’t worry?

I missed the good old days when phones were sturdy enough to be pounded for emphasis.

This was going to be worse than the time I table danced in the diner in high school!

Banks frown when employees torch the home of their principal account holder.

This house has enough nooks and crannies for English muffins.

Turns out there’s a reason smoking is not allowed on construction sites.

You pretty much have to take the job since you hit him with the car.

Maybe you’re worried that I won’t seduce you?

I’ve worked with freshmen that were easier than this.

The holy sword, the Holy Scripture.

When I think of the most beautiful women, they're not supermodels.

The Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions

For out of fear and need each religion is born, creeping into existence on the byways or reason.

Negative people often tend to create negative cultures whereas positive corporate cultures are created by positive people.

Those are greedy of praise prove that they are poor in merit.

People should be allowed to do whatever they want in the privacy of their own home or their own hotel room.

Fancy algorithms are slow when N is small, and N is usually small.

I think you're bound to get a sense of any character that you play. It's not something you often do in comedy.

People ask if I had hope of becoming a champion. I had hope. Hope was the only thing I had. Hope pushed me.