Embarrassing facts, those would really help our children remember their classroom lessons better.

Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates.

The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes.

The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners.

Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.

Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life.

I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed.

I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains.

Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion.

Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn?

If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other.

EH.MA.GAWD.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.

The progress of science, like an ancient desert trail, is strewn with the bleached skeletons of discarded theories, doctrines, and axioms which seemed to possess eternal life.

Keep your mind open to change all the time. Welcome it. Court it. It is only by examining and reexamining your opinions and ideas that you can progress.

You exaggerate your own reactions.

As a customer service representative; I deal with people all day. Some really are guilty of not paying their bill.

I shook my tambourine the whole time, because it helped me remember that even though I was going through different neighborhoods, I was still me.

He who has Jesus has everything.

I feel like I've always been in love with dance. When I was little kid I would always be the one who would be like, okay let's make up some dance routines.

It's so important to forgive people for their wrongs in your own life because every bit of it was for a reason-it was to form the person that you are.