English clubs are very exclusive. I played Royal Foxshire and they made me wear a suit and tie. . . in the shower.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

From a purely physical standpoint she didn't have a chance, but her attitude was that death was better than capitulation.

Some think that authority over the devil belongs to only a few chosen people to whom God has given special power. It doesn’t

On Easter day let us promise to resurrect, transcend, and transform our conscience for the happiness of mankind.

A child who grows up too closely aligned with adults assumes knowledge of a life she hasn’t yet experienced.

Never do what the devil provokes you to do

The deepest sin against the human mind is to believe things without evidence.

Al Jazeera is demonized by the United States, yet in Egypt my father would be watching it.

I've always been interesting in characters that challenge people and who are not always that easy to like.

I have a lot of appetites and try to revel in almost everything, so inspiration can even come from a well-appointed submarine sandwich, you know?

I think it's important to vote.