English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

Why would you throw a ball in someone's face?...Huh. That's a pretty good reason. Well, I can't do much about your teacher being pissed, but me and you are good.

The Sufis are unanimous that a Guide (Sheikh) is absolutely essential, though never available on demand: 'the Sufis are not merchants'.

Hard work is a necessity of today in order to live a great life tomorrow.

Tragic to kill a friend in battle by mistake when there are so many enemies to go around.

We live on this very small and fragile planet: a world in which there is poverty and injustice is never going to be a safe and secure world

I'm forever in debt to Nickelodeon. It made me who I am today.

The middle-of-the-road policy is not an economic system that can last. It is a method for the realization of socialism by installments.

You can't always get what you want.

You cannot expect soldiers to change people's minds. That has to be done in other ways.

Tortall and the Queens Riders!