English is the product of a Saxon warrior trying to make a date with an Angle bar-maid, and as such is no more legitimate than any of the other products of that conversation.

You know, it's quite all right to give the underdog a hand, but only one hand. Keep the other hand on your pistol - or he'll try to eat the one you gave him!

Keep a goverment poor and weak and it's your servant; when it is rich and powerful it becomes your master.

Only the incompetent wait until the last extremity to use force, and by then, it is usually too late to use anything, even prayer.

Apparently, on New Texas, killing a politician was not malum in se, and was mallum prohibitorum only to the extent that what happened to the politician was in excess of what he deserved.

English is the result of Norman men-at-arms attempting to pick up Saxon barmaids and is no more legitimate than any of the other results.

I like it where it gets dark at night, and if you want noise, you have to make it yourself.

And when someone makes a statement you don't understand, don't tell him he's crazy. Ask him what he means.

I had a lot of other ideas, now and then, but every time I took a second look at one, it got sick and died.

Take a drink because you pity yourself, and then the drink pities you and has a drink, and then two good drinks get together and that calls for drinks all around.

Sanity, it would seem, was a dangerously contagious disease.

I’d so rather be a living snack than dead meat.

I am not bound to win but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed but I am bound to live up to what light I have.

As long as I know that my motives are good, I'm Seldom very concerned with the opinions of others. -Mandorallen, Baron of Vo Mandor.

Never yawn in front of a lady.

One must not mistake majority for truth.

I don't sit around and read papers about myself. If I see myself on TV, if I don't like it, I change the channel.

The people are grown very wild and loose in their morals.

A good rule of thumb is to assume that everything matters.

I love 'The View,' so when you're living the dream, it's not work.

Pleasure is often spoiled by describing it.