Enron is now officially out of the energy business. They are now in a new business: confetti.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

Never forget to be kind when you have to be critical.

What you don't deal with today, will live to deal with you tomorrow.

Words are like harpoons. Once they go in, they are very hard to pull out.

A man sits as many risks as he runs.

I like Goodwill and the thrift stores. I don't like going into a store and picking from a bunch of cute stuff that's already been found. One of the best parts is finding it myself.

a short cut to matrimonial unhappiness is not to have the same taste in jokes!

What if you woke up this morning and had only the things you thanked God for yesterday?

Maybe she'd always been there. Maybe strangers enter your heart first and then you spent the rest of your life searching for them.

You just have to be adventurous and that's the way I like to work. I think that's the role of the artist, to do something difficult, doing it first for himself. That's my definition of sincerity.

My doctor told me I would never walk again. My mother told me I would. I believed my mother.