Entertainment is like any other major industry; it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made; if you can't, you're out.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.

Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

He hugged her hard. "I love you. My life is so much better with you in it than out of it.

The lonely people have taught me, that I am not alone.

KIM: I wanted to make it on my own.KURT: You will. The problem is, sometimes you just need one person to put you in touch with the other. It’s how it all starts.

People often ask if one day mankind attains immortality, how he will be able to get rid of the eternal boredom problem? The answer is this: By embarking on eternal adventures!

It may be that no life is found, Which only to one engine bound Falls off, but cycles always round.

I have voted for the ANC, but I would very sadly not be able to vote for them after the way things have gone.

Study words so that you can use them significantly, effectively, worthily.

In the words of Frederick Douglas, power concedes nothing without a demand; it never has and it never will. We must be that demand. We are the ones we've been waiting for.

It's common platitude that knowledge is neutral but every now and then it would be useful if it were on your side and not theirs.

I will never hurt you. I will always help you. If you are hungry Ill give you my food. If you are frightened I am your friend. I love you now. And love does not end.