Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

the squeeky wheel gets the grease.

Words are free, action is not.

…and from that moment Buck hated him with a bitter and deathless hatred.

Comprehension, inventiveness, direction, and criticism: intelligence is contained in these four words.

A comic script is basically a love letter from you to your artist.

You're not the only piece of patchwork birds can pull worms from.

On the subject of spinach: divide into little piles. Rearrange again into new piles. After five of six maneuvers, sit back and say you are full.

All a skeptic is is someone who hasn't had an experience yet.

I like it here in New York. I like the idea of having to keep eyes in the back of your head all the time.

Flight is intolerable contradiction.