Evaluate every performance on: stage presence, concentration, delivery, material and lessons learned.

This whole urban rap thing needs to be pulled back some. The ghetto is being glorified, and there's nothing good about the ghetto except getting out of one.

Black people drink lots of beer. However, you won't see us skiing down a mountain for one, or see us diving for Frisbees on concrete for one.

Originality is never embraced as quickly as the commonplace.

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

Don't try to give a funny opinion; give your opinion in a way that will be funny.

Bombing teaches you how badly you want to become a comedian. Because unless it's a burning desire, you'll quit when the consistent bombing becomes too much to take.

If I'm crisp and economical in my delivery, have smooth transitions, movement and animation, and flights of fancy, that would get me an A.

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

You can't wait forever for an audience to get the joke, but you should give them at least two seconds to join in before you go on to the next one.

I advise treating the studio audience like a nightclub audience because that's the reason you're doing television - to get them to come see you in a nightclub.

The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.

And I knew then that there would be no telling me what he saw. I understand somehow that certain images, certain sounds, could not be shared and could not be lost.

Build a tangled bank.

All power that anyone can possibly use is within, waiting to be made visible, first by recognizing it, then affirming it as ours.

Bad officials are the ones elected by good citizens who do not vote.

There's no reason that just because you're a celebrity you can't write.

You know, my role as Vice Chairman is a lot less tiring than playing matches every three days.

All forces are a deterrent to and would be employed in a general war. Most of our forces could be employed in a limited war, if required

We justify ourselves when we should judge ourselves. If we learned humility, it might spare us the humiliation.

I want kids to understand that strength doesn't come from what goes on around you. It comes from inside you, and that comes from Jesus Christ.