Even if I am but a pretender to wisdom, that in itself is philosophy.

He has the most who is most content with the least.

We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less.

I pissed on the man who called me a dog. Why was he so surprised?

In a rich man's house there is no place to spit but his face.

Plato had defined Man as an animal, biped and featherless, and was applauded. Diogenes plucked a fowl and brought it into the lecture-room with the words, "Behold Plato's man!"

I am Diogenes the Dog. I nuzzle the kind, bark at the greedy and bite scoundrels.

He lit a lamp in broad daylight and said, as he went about, "I am looking for a human."

It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours.

I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world.

One original thought is worth a thousand mindless quotings

every good artist paints what he is

The greatest thing ever in the history of the world and of all of human endeavor from time immemorial is stories.

Publicity does not come easily, profits do not come easily, and knowledge does not come easily.

My doctor says I must not have any serious conversation after seven [o'clock]. It makes me talk in my sleep.

Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you. But you have to take action to get it.

I'm beginning to believe that anything I do to extend my life is just going to be outweighed by the agony of living it.

Obamacare is a disaster, folks.

Working with people on a field turns me on.

Notice this rent in my garment; I am at a loss to explain its presence! I am even more puzzled by the existence of the universe.

Yeah, my real name is Coppola. I changed it because they'd think I was some nepotism-oriented kid.