Even though my work is whimsical. I have a very serious job. I cry more than I laugh.

When the king gets depressed, he doesn't call for his wife. He doesn't call for the cook. He calls for the court jester.

Number one, like yourself. Number two, you have to eat healthy. And number three, you've got to squeeze your buns. That's my formula.

No tricks, gimmicks, special pills, special potions, special equipment. All it takes is desire and will.

I spent my childhood eating. The only exercise I got was trying to twist off the cap of a jar of mayonnaise.

Count your blessings. You are one of a kind. There's no one in the world like you. You are amazing.

No one is perfect... absolutely no one. Like precious stones, we have a few flaws, but why focus on that? Focus on what you like about yourself, and that will bring you happiness and peace.

Energy is that amazing feeling that comes to life inside of you when you're happy and believe in yourself.

I've always practiced this: Love yourself. Move your body. Watch your portions.

There is no magic milkshake or workout machine. I think the real machine is your body. I do love treadmills, ellipticals, stationary bikes, free weights.

Everyone in this world is somehow connected. So why not just be nice to everybody.

Love is about as strong, as two people want to make it.

He kissed her for an eternity, which was fine, because heaven had eternities to burn. Then he kissed her for another.

No, I can't die because there are too many jackasses falling over themselves to take my place! I may live forever just to spite them!

Knowledge is free at the library. Just bring your own container.

I don't know, Alexander, sometimes it gets so bad you can't think of nothing better to do than make it worse.

Yeah, it's whatever. You know, feeling good, living better.

Citizendium is based on the failings and unreliability of Wikipedia.

When things seem calmest, that is the time you should fear the most, it's when you have the most to lose.

I always have one foot in the street, so I know not everyone wants to dress like the women they see in music videos.

People misinterpret what I say all the time: They think I'm being offensive, when really, I'm only being opinionated.