Even when I'm being funny, I'm deadly serious.

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.

For fast-acting relief try slowing down.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.

I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.

There have only been two geniuses in the world — Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare.

In business, you have to be strong. If you are weak, people are going to take advantage.

There are ways to meet people and surround yourself with like-minded people who will support you.

Don't speak evil of someone if you don't know for certain, and if you do know ask yourself, why am I telling it?

Perhaps the act of writing is necessary when nothing happens.

Honestly, I've hated every boyfriend I've had.

Excellence isn't an act, it's a habit

At the end of the day, Mother Nature has only one question for us: 'What life did you nurture today?

Kindness only goes so far, and then it's time to show your claws.

It's difficult to tell the truth about how a book begins. The truth, as far as it can be presented to other people, is either wholly banal or too intimate.