Eventually, even a blind squirell will find an acorn.

I got this bad allergy - I'm allergic to bullshit.

The saddest moment in a child's life is not when he learns that Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns that Vince Russo is.

Rick Steiner is so stupid, he once stayed up all night to study for a urine test.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Vince Russo has been there in which case the grass is most likely dead.

Rick Steiner is so stupid, it takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.

Vince Russo destroyed the Periodic Table as he only recognises the element of surprise.

I heard last year at [insert name]'s birthday party they had to set up mirrors to make it look like a crowd.

Hulk Hogan, you may be a household word, but so is garbage, and it stinks when it gets old too.

Ladies & Gentelman, the man who tought William Kennedy Smith everything he knows about dating, Sweet Stan Lane!

I like to take advantage of the simple-minded because I can.

Faith determines your destiny, not your reality.

And in the darkness, he found reality.

Most journalists are impatient to get their legwork done and to start the actual writing

Sometimes success is due less to ability than zeal. The winner is he who gives himself to his work body and soul.

The way I go about a lovemaking scene is that we will talk about it during the rehearsing time.

Isn't that weird, we've made nature against the law. That's how un-natural we've become.

You'll find your life greatly simplified if you only worry about stuff you can fix.

The only thing that should surprise us is that there are still some things that can surprise us.

Insecurity prevents young artists from 'flying' and older artists from being 'down to earth.' Young artists should work on their confidence and the older ones on their humility.

I know as a critic I'm required to have a well-armored heart. I must be a cynical wise guy to show my great sophistication. No pushover, me.