Eventually the person who tries to fix the problem will be blamed for causing it.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

We are here and it is now. The way I see it is, after that, everything tends towards guesswork.

If I had a vision of the perfect psychedelic drug and knew its structure, I'd make it. That's why I have a laboratory out there - to make things that haven't been made before.

The worst lies of all are the ones we tell ourselves. They are the most damaging.

When I'm not working, my family and I have a house in the San Juan Islands. We've been here since '94.

Oh, and welcome to the Three.

I carried through well with my tennis. I got the respect by usage of the tennis racket.

America can only live up to its potential when each and every American has the chance to live up to your potential, too.

I thought of such Christian inventions as the ghetto and the Jewish badge of shame. The Nazis didn't have to go very far to pick up their know-how.

If first of all you have a wrong idea, then it's kind of wasting time. No matter how hard that you try with a wrong idea, it makes it difficult to be successful.

I want to be like, "Look at Postal like Quentin Tarantino did it. Brainwash yourself and convince yourself that Tarantino did it. Forget my name and enjoy the 100 minutes and then write your review."