Ever noticed that no matter what happens in one day, it exactly fits in the newspaper?

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Have fun with the uncertainty of life. When you learn to do so, you will be certain to win.

An abundant life is one where we are physically strong, mentally sound, and spiritually aflame. I

All the spookiness comes from giving a contemporary anachronistic sense to terms whose historical meaning is lost to us.

I do not believe that any human being is fundamentally happier for being finally lost in a crowd, even if it is called a crowd of comrades.

I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.

Keep your enemies at a distance, your partners close at hand.

It's a comedy thriller, brilliantly written and it's full of twists and turns at every page. When I was reading it I was desperate to get to the end to find out what happens, it really hooks you.

We are entering a new world in which we can choose to follow our own steps, not those that society forces us to take.

If I stopped having passion, I'd be done.