Ever since I started to get recognition I've picked out certain fans and reverse-stalked them.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

I know this sounds strange, but as a kid, I was really shy. Painfully shy. The turning point was freshman year, when I was the biggest geek alive. No one, I mean no one, even talked to me.

My soul is not contained within the limits of my body; my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.

I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.

Life opens up opportunities to you, and you either take them or you stay afraid of taking them.

150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine.

Flowers don't worry about how they're going to bloom. They just open up & turn toward the light & that makes them beautiful.

I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny.

Everything you gain in life will rot and fall apart, and all that will be left of you is what was in your heart.

You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.

I liked comedy, but didn't know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.

If you have problems in your life, don’t assume there is something wrong with you.

I've been a Republican since Reagan. I voted for Bush and his father. I don't tell a lot of people, because I live in a city where somebody who voted for Bush is really an outcast.

I am rather impatient to know the fate of my best gown.

Fox News is hated because they're elitists, and the worst winners television's ever seen.

Age either transfigures or petrifies.

My mama didn't see it comin, my daddy was there. What's my excuse? Cartoons were the root. Started with Yosemite Sam With the gun in the palm of the hand, What couldn't I demand?

I love to improvise when it's appropriate and encouraged by a producer.

When giving directions to Joe Garagiola to his New Jersey home, which is accessible by two routes: "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."