Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Maybe anosognosia, the inability to see your own disability, is the human condition and I'm the only one who doesn't suffer from it.

What we prepare for is what we shall get.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall, Who's fairest of them all?I'm Mona Lisa and She is plain, But the truth is - we all are Vain.

My solution to the problem would be to tell the North Vietnamese Communists frankly that they've got to drawn in their horns and stop their aggression or we're going to bomb them into the stone age.

One of these days... One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser!

Most adults have forgotten what they had to do to survive childhood.

Because everyone who try a-go to church, and they were trying to teach but they weren't teaching, they was brainwashing. Since I would never call that teaching.

Being a practiced liar doesn't mean you have a powerful imagination. Many good liars have no imagination at all; it's that which gives their lies such wide-eyed conviction.

Going to see Godzilla at the Palais of the Cannes Film Festival is like attending a satanic ritual in St. Peter's Basilica.

I think that's one of the most unique and potentially powerful things about reddit - people come for the news, and stay for the community.