Every actor in his heart believes everything bad that's printed about him.

We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch.

Create your own visual style... let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others.

Race hate isn't human nature; race hate is the abandonment of human nature.

Popularity should be no scale for the election of politicians. If it would depend on popularity, Donald Duck and The Muppets would take seats in senate.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

The essential is to excite the spectators. If that means playing Hamlet on a flying trapeze or in an aquarium, you do it.

If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends.

If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.

Personally, I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband. If she'll fool her husband, I figure she'll fool me.

To know oneself and one’s end or goal in life is true wisdom—knowledge of the heart more than the head.

Have you ever heard a blindfolded octopus unwrap a cellophane-covered bathtub?

Persistence is always rewarded with success.

T[he rules of writing] require that the episodes in a tale shall be necessary parts of the tale, and shall help to develop it.

The praise that comes from love does not make us vain, but more humble.

People say releasing an album is like giving birth, but it’s more like having a gallbladder operation.

Too much of anything is the beginning of a mess.

[T]here is no truth more thoroughly established, than that there exists . . . an indissoluble union between virtue and happiness.

Hippies generally aren't busy with anything except feeling sorry for themselves.

Wherever the Turkish hoof trods, no grass grows.