Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either.

War is one of the scourges with which it has pleased God to afflict men.

I paid too heavy a price for perestroika.

There are two ways of seeing: with the body and with the soul. The body's sight can sometimes forget, but the soul remembers forever.

Right now I'm happy to be on the ice anywhere, anytime.

And the live show is still our main thing.

We are so utterly ordinary, so commonplace, while we profess to know a Power the Twentieth Century does not reckon with.... Oh that God would make us dangerous!

I want to be a part of something, and when we define movies now based on how they do on the weekend. We live in a society of "thumbs up, thumbs down."

Growing up in England, people told you why you couldn't do things. Suddenly, I had a publisher banging on my door, and was given the creative green light to simply make.

Vimes's lack of interest in other people's children was limitless.

The good God would not inspire unattainable desires.