Every child should be placed on a doorstep to sell something. It's the best possible training for life.

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret of happiness. Then if you're not a good mixer you can always fall back on your own company.

The French are a logical people, which is one reason the English dislike them so intensely. The other is that they own France, a country which we have always judged to be much too good for them.

I don’t work. I merely inflict myself on the public.

The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters.

The ball is man's most disastrous invention, not excluding the wheel.

A party: one arrives long after it's started, and one's going to leave long before it's over.

When I asked my accountant if anything could get me out of the mess I am in now, he thought for a long time, and I didn't care much for his answer. 'Yes,' he said. 'Death would help.'

Most owners are at length able to teach themselves to obey their dog.

Show me the man who has enjoyed his schooldays and I will show you a bully and a bore.

Goodwill is the mightiest practical force in the universe.

If we're going to have standards in schools, let's be honest and have standards.

I don't do anything to be lovable. I have no control.

I've always played with kids that were five, six, seven years older than me.

When need something really aggressive, outrageous and not done half-way, I feel like I'm your girl.

As one who has often felt this need, and who has found refreshment in wild places, I attest to the recreational value of wilderness.

A photographer's best work is, alas, generally done for himself.

I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience?

The characters are the plot. What they do and say and the things that happen to them are, in a sense, what the plot is. You can't take character and plot apart from each other, really.

Oblivion is not to be hired.