Every cookie is a sugar cookie. A cookie without sugar is a cracker.

No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!

Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.

Don't go back over your life with a red pen.

Some people hate Jews. Fine, alright it's been done. I mean, that's part of my problem with it. Could you hate somebody new? I'm not giving you any suggestions but the Belgians have had a good run.

The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented.

Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.

The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.

I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.

The popcorn button on the microwave is a miraculous invention. More miraculous than even the microwave itself.

Ah me, but where are now the songs I sangWhen life was sweet because you call’d them sweet?

Kara knew all he recognized was T and A on a string and he was nothing more than a sleazy puppeeter, so long as there were souls for sale he was ready to buy ..

It’s always nice to learn a thing or two from a novel, don’t you think?

Never compete with your master, because that is disrespect to him! You are your only rival, you compete with yourself, go beyond yourself!

Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God. Nor was it wise to tempt angels, even of the fallen sort.

Set me a task in which I can put something of my very self, and it is a task no longer; it is joy; it is art.

If Australia wants an effective United Nations, we have to be comprehensively, not marginally, engaged.

The spiritual journey has to do with learning to think more deeply and take as long a time as we need. That's the path to wisdom.

DNA doesn't make a family. Love does.

There's a big difference between somebody who does acid on weekends and somebody who takes downers every day.