Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks.

Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates.

The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes.

The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners.

Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.

Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life.

I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed.

I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains.

Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion.

Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn?

If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other.

Love a girl trulyExpectation: MarriageReality : Friendzoned

The public be damned.

Freedom prospers when religion is vibrant and the rule of law under God is acknowledged.

Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince.

This is a national emergency, if Donald Trump wins.

There's always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed too little - and it's always somebody else.

Though it may seem overdue, righteousness is always rewarded. Don't be impatient with God. He'll never forget to reward your efforts for Him.

God was feeling sardonic the day He created the Universe. So it's rather up to at least one man every few centuries to pop up and come just as close to making him swallow his laughter as possible.

Who do I belong to? How come I mortgaged my being till I don't belong to myself? How come I sold my blood? And who now owns my indecisions, my hands, my private pain, my pride?

Life experience makes the best music. That's the thing that nobody else can offer. Nobody else can offer my life. I have a life that is fit for movies, music, and so forth. Nobody else can give that.