Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Clearly the Old One had the capacity to kill - or easily deliver some sort of final ending that sounded remarkably like death.

Perhaps not, " said Will, who had ears like a bat's. "But I would make a radiant bride.

People who face a difficult question often answer an easier one instead, without realizing it.

Acting seems much easier than singing, in fact, because you are putting on a costume - whereas here you are taking everything off.

Always get rid of theory private object in this way: assume that it constantly changes, but that you do not notice the change because your memory constantly deceives you.

A wise ignorance is an essential part of knowledge.

For a long time a very strong and deep attraction has drawn me to missionary life.

There were not so many physical threats that could not be countered with a decent hammer.

This is perhaps the most important statement on religion ever made. It clarified the intent of the founders of the constitution irrespective of the attempts of modern day religious revisionists.