Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes, remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go, 'Ugh'.

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most important person to yourself.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

it is being honest about my painthat makes me invincible.

You must have a clear mental picture of the correct thing before you can do it successfully.

The angel personifies something new arising from the deep unconscious.

Judas is a reflection of anyone who ends up rejecting Jesus. It's a tragic story?not something to shake your finger at, but something to be sad about.

Making is the mirror in which we see ourselves.

In England, rock music very rarely infiltrates the charts, but country music even less so.

The first lady is, and always has been, an unpaid public servant elected by one person, her husband.

When a role for a young guy is being offered to me, I think of River Phoenix. It feels like a loss.

The only person you have to convince is yourself.

There is but one pride pardonable; that of being above doing a base or dishonorable action.