Every generation finds the drug it needs.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Give your best today you will create a better tomorrow.

All the breaks you need in life wait within your imagination, Imagination is the workshop of your mind, capable of turning mind energy into accomplishment and wealth.

No farmer-sportsman group is stronger than the ties of mutual confidence and enthusiasm which bind its members.

Few enjoy noisy overcrowded functions. But they are a gesture of goodwill on the part of host or hostess, and also on the part of guests who submit to them.

The truth is to be lived, not just mouthed.

The drama, like the symphony, does not teach or prove anything.

All is beautiful and unceasing, all is music and reason, and all, like diamond, is carbon first, then light.

I mean you're so shy & I'm lovin your tie You're like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye

If I bring anything to the table, it's the fact that not everybody realizes they're funny. So I just point a finger.

Because you showed one face to all the rest of the world, and another to me.