Every golfer should come to the first tee with fourteen clubs, a dozen balls, a handful of tees, and at least one great golf story

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

[W]e are none of us very good at silence. It says too much.

To love without criticism is to be betrayed.

It is long accepted by the missionaries that morality is inversely proportional to the amount of clothing people wore

What we are trying to do is to create a new business paradigm, simply showing that business can have a human face and a social conscience.

The collector walks with blinders on; he sees nothing but the prize. In fact, the acquisitive instinct is incompatible with true appreciation of beauty.

Impermanence is not something to be afraid of. It's the evolution, a never-ending horizon.

It's what you do and not what you say. If you're not part of the future, then get out of the way!

I felt so full of love for everything. But at the same time, I felt so hung out there to dry, like nobody could ever understand. I felt so alone in this world, and so loved at the same time.

You handle animals. You deal with people.

Jesus did not ask us to believe that he was the messiah. He certainly never suggested that he was the second person of the trinity. In fact, he rarely referred to himself at all.