Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

Did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there..

An acceptance of your cultural inheritance, and at the same time a dislike of it, is a building block of good art.

No, thanks," said Harry. "The toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it— it might be sick." Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said.

...there is no evidence that casual exposure to secondhand smoke has any impact on your life expectancy.

Service of God consists in what we do to our neighbor.

Big Government is the small option: it's the guarantee of smaller freedom, smaller homes, smaller cars, smaller opportunities, smaller lives.

Page one of any economic plan to get America working is to give a pink slip to the current resident in the White House.

To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin".

My game wasn't where it should have been at all at the start of the year. I got into a couple of bad habits on my swing, and it just took me a little bit of time to get out of them.

We really wanted it to be an action movie. Those are the movies that we love. We're big fans of like Shane Black movies, when we were younger - me and Evan [Goldberg].