Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

I've had great success being a total idiot.

I am probably the most selfish man you will ever meet in your life. No one gets the satisfaction or the joy that I get out of seeing kids realize there is hope.

People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.

I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe.

I have some very personal feelings about politics, but I don't get into it because I do comedy already.

If you're an old pro, you know how well you're doing when you're doing it, and your inner government spanks you if you're not doing well.

I never got a formal education. So my intellect is my common sense. I don't have anything else going for me. And my common sense opens the door to instinct.

The human mind is the most unreliable things in the universe. So control it.

Money as the sole ambition has no value.

It is quite impossible to understand the character of a person from one action, however striking that action may be.

Can the "word" be pinned down to either one period or one church? All churches are, of course, only more or less unsuccessful attempts to represent the unseen to the mind.

The days, months, and years eventually reveal, like a Polaroid, a clear picture of how significant events and decisions ultimately shape our lives.

The mace prodded Will in the back again. That little habit was starting to annoy him and he was tempted to take the weapon from the sergeant major and do a little prodding of his own.

War makes early risers of us all.

I know it's hard to not do well at something, and I know it's hard to need help.

Entrepreneurs are willing to work 80 hours a week to avoid working 40 hours a week.

Small towns harbor small imaginations.