Every morning I read the obituaries. If it ain't there I make myself a cup of tea and carry on like I have the past century or so.

When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

I ain't taking no more rides on the stupid train.

Dating is like nightfall--there's got to be a mourning after.

Don't worry. It's scientifically unlikely that the universe will explode into a million particles at any given moment.

Dating--the socially accepted alternative to the rack.

In my opinion, kissing a lady's hand is a fine tradition. After all, a man must start somewhere.

Maybe money can't buy happiness, but it can get you a nice little villa in Tuscany, and that's close enough for me.

He's an undersized pissant with delusions of adequacy.

Jealousy. It's a terrible thing. Unless it's someone else's.

It'd hardly be worth having a brother at all, if you couldn't smack him in the head every once in a while.

You stole it from the master.""Who stole it from me. What I did simply set the universe back in order.

I love life - that’s my real weakness. I love it so much that I am incapable of imagining what is not life.

The rule is not written anywhere, it's not etched in any  -  but, I mean, that's the prevailing attitude of this entire society. Don't have an adventure.

I'll date one day if I find someone that I want to let into my life enough.

I probably have another two or three years. Or I can pass tomorrow, but it doesn't make a difference to me.

I wouldn't trade a good horse for the best Rolls-Royce ever made -- unless I could trade the Rolls for two good horses.

Life as a therapist is ruthless; circumstances that are helpful to one neurotic may crush another.

Tenancy laws can be so complicated; I want to make sure OP is protected as much as possible.

Wherever you go, east, west, north or south, think of it as a journey into yourself! The one who travels into itself travels the world.

Global warming has taken the place of Communism as an absurdity that 'liberals' will defend to the death regardless of the evidence showing its folly.