Every newspaper editor owes tribute to the devil.

Patience and time do more than strength or passion.

A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.

Rare as is true love, true friendship is rarer.

Friendship is the shadow of the evening, which increases with the setting sun of life.

Death never takes the wise man by surprise, he is always ready to go.

Every flatterer lives at the expense of him who listens to him.

Man is so made that when anything fires his soul, impossibilities vanish.

All the brains in the world are powerless against the sort of stupidity that is in fashion.

Nothing is more dangerous than a friend without discretion; even a prudent enemy is preferable.

Beware, so long as you live, of judging men by their outward appearance.

You wanted to feel alive, right? It doesn't matter if you're monster or human. Living hurts.

If I can’t sing, then let me listen to the songs of the wilderness and let me watch the dance of a lonely leaf.

The end must justify the means.

I was a total jock growing up. I went to super-dorky basketball clinics and was handpicked to play on a state team called the Texas Heat.

The great Searcher of human hearts is my witness, that I have no wish, which aspires beyond the humble and happy lot of living and dying a private citizen on my own farm.

I hope one of my fans has one of your kids shot: and blames it on acid, prozac, and slipknot.

Most women complain that there are no single, straight men left. I’d just like to meet one who’s human.

It is always possible to be happy by ignoring the sufferings of the millions! People with high conscience can never attain this kind of insensitive happiness!

Talent comes from experience and failure

I think a lot of artists go waving their Grammies around thanking God for their Grammy, but when it comes to a pitch battle in the street for the honor of God, none of them is anywhere to be found.