Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

After awhile you could get used to anything.

The only way to fight nostalgia is to listen to somebody else's nostalgia

You can't entirely compare between the United States and Greece for a range of reasons, not just because of the size of the economy.

Irrespective of whether we are believers or agnostics, whether we believe in God or karma, moral ethics is a code which everyone is able to pursue.

Bad guys have more fun.

President [Ronald] Reagan told me he would negotiate and negotiate and negotiate with the Soviets, and I believed him.

Time's a funny thing, bending, warping, stretching, and compressing, all depending on perspective.

Every man should let out all the length of all the reigns; should find or make a frank and healthy expression of what force and meaning is in him.

The average bloke . . . hates and fears all freedom, not only for others but for himself, and stamps it out wherever possible.

I'm curious to see what happens in England because in all this madness I think I can always go home to England and it'll all turn off.