Every person is so different and I dont think there is an exact match for every person. If you meet someone and they have 20 of the 25 things you want in a person, then youre pretty lucky.

This is how memories are made... by going with the flow.

I can't help but laugh at all of you writing fake stories about me. I was not in any hit and runs. I don't drink so the DUI is false.

Chris Brown beat you because you're not pretty enough.

I don't care what you say about me if I don't find you physically attractive.

I have no clue [why people say I'm insane]. Every time I've heard it, it came from an ugly person's mouth, so I don't care.

I want a million dollars a year for illegally having my mind read and privacy stolen.

If you're not hot I don't care about you.

I love making people who already hate me hate me more.

I like jewellery because it's forever. Flowers die, chocolates get eaten and lingerie wears out in the wash. Plus, the girl is reminded of you every time she wears it. It's a wise move.

To an ant on the ground, an airplane probably looks like an ant.

You will be a different person after the storm, because the storm will heal you from your perfection.

It is about doing the most good with the only two hands I can control.

Love is sweet even when what you go through is bitter.

Today I set my mind and heart on a new path. I focus my energy on love, appreciation, and my highest possibilities.

If you're so smart, let's see you get out of the Army.

There are two key lessons: a) The only way to survive in business is to be profitable, unless you have an unlimited amount of money; b) Get through your difficulty and learn to do better next time.

People ask me if I would shoot and kill people, and I don't think I would.

Women's voices not being heard is the root of many of the problems of the world.

I don't think comics necessarily think in literary terms. There is an element of developing your stage persona and your comedic voice, but I don't think comics see it like a character in a novel.

I'm klutzy, and I don't embarrass easily.