Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: 'Basement?'

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

The imagination needs moodling, --long, inefficient happy idling, dawdling and puttering.

Skill is the bridge between success and great success.

Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn

If someone is too perfect they won't look good. Imperfection is important.

Find enough clever things to say, and you're a Prime Minister; write them down and you're a Shakespeare.

The less I was of who I was, the better I felt.

We do not invest in advertising... So racing is the best advertising for Ferrari.

For those who don't believe in themselves, hardwork is worthless." -Maito Gai (Naruto)

There's some familiarity in Celtic music, even if you've never heard that piece of music before.

As a filmmaker, you are going to manipulate the character as you need to make the scenes work.