Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Trithemius' concern for conservation was rare, indeed, and is a lesson to modern library managers who discard printed volumes, believing that e-books are the only way of the future.

We all came from the same source and it's energy in form of light shining in every consciousness.

Just be careful" implies that there's an end to it all, maybe in an hour, maybe in three years, but an end just the same.

Only the blood of Jesus can cleanse us, yet if we withhold ourselves from that blood, we will be unclean forever.

I am confident Pakistani government will provide me with adequate security, unlike the government at the time that sabotaged my mother's security in Pakistan.

anchor, v.: I drift, I drift, I drift, you stay.

No longer dependent on 30 second spots, today's marketers need a never-ending stream of content.

Basically, I didnt know anything about fashion. I was very nerdy; I went to Bryn Mawr and never even noticed models when I was 21.

What can I say? Chicks dig the mask.

Instagram is a media company. I think we're about visual media.