Every time I use an app, part of my brain dies! We'll get to the point where we go to bed and wonder: 'Did I have a thought today?' You'll have to go to your 'Thought' app!

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

And for a split second Cleo saw the value in living openly. Liberation was Windex for the soul. It let the light shine through. But why dwell? Nothing was ever going to change.

Lucy woke out of the deepest sleep you can imagine, with the feeling that the voice she liked best in the world had been calling her name.

To be able to live and work in the United States is a privilege.

I want to win a World Series. I couldn't care less about MVP.

Don't be afraid to take a chance, to jump. Because death will always swallow you up anyway. Death is a friend; it encourages us to become aware, to become free.

If we think we regulate printing, thereby to rectify manners, we must regulate all regulations and pastimes, all that is delightful to man.

The stress of grad school can drive anyone temporarily mad.

Together we can do great things.

It takes struggle, a goal and enthusiasm to make a champion.

The more I try to catch up, the farther I fall behind.