Everybody in 15th century Spain was wrong about where China was and as a result, Columbus discovered Caribbean vacations.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.

Try to come to a place where you accept your own imperfections. Where it‟s okay to be less than perfect. Because you are less than perfect

I shall die in the belief that to make France free, republican and prosperous, a little ink would have sufficed - and only one guillotine.

Consciousness is nature's nightmare.

But no one frees himself from being in love in three days.

I want to be as self-reliant as possible and do it all from within.

Ink runs from the corners of my mouth. There is no happiness like mine. I have been eating poetry.

When I was in grade school I was always the guy that got 20 or 18 points. Even back then, I would lead my team in scoring.

There is satisfaction in seeing one's household prosper; in being both bountiful and provident.

Dreams are a sweet mistake All dreamers must awake On, then, with the dance No backward glance Or my heart will break Never look back.