Everybody knows that if you're born in America, you are a citizen. No, you're not.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

Solo mirarte me proporciona el placer más intenso que jamás haya sentido.

Beethoven tells you what it's like to be Beethoven and Mozart tells you what it's like to be human. Bach tells you what it's like to be the universe.

We deem those happy who from the experience of life have learnt to bear its ills without being overcome by them.

Not death itself, but only the moral preparation for it, holds terrors.

Be grateful as your deeds become less and less associated with your name, as your feet ever more lightly tread the earth.

Try not to worry what your parents think - try to help them see that you do live by the values that they taught you.

When chimps threaten, they open their mouth and show their teeth. It's a little like waving a knife in front of you. It's very primitive, and therefore bizarre.

Sometimes they say the world rotates a little different for lefthanders.

Just as in nature systems of order govern the growth and structure of animate and inanimate matter, so human activity itself has, since the earliest times, been distinguished by the quest for order.

When it seems that something can't be done, start it, and see if the rest of it can be done.