Everybody needs some good sketch comedy.

My daughter got me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. So we know she's sarcastic.

If you're committed enough, you can make any story work. I once told a woman I was Kevin Costner, and it worked because I believed it.

We're all real people with moments of intense honesty and pathos and humanity. We all experience that, whether you're comedic or not.

You say you're going to be the pope, become the pope.

Don't say you're going to stop eating red meat when you like red meat.

If you surround me with darkness, suddenly, I am "somewhat fun."

We don't feel constrained by what we did in the past.

The world needs less destruction.

The laugh is what trumps everything.

You shouldn't eat red meat, but you shouldn't make resolutions you can't keep.

There is room for words on subjects other than last words.

I die with a joyful heart in the knowledge of our infinite achievements and of a contribution unique in the history that bears my name.

My manager has a car payment, so I work every night.

I think the world is an interesting place and I don't think anybody has the firm and final answer to what it is but I kind of assume there's a purpose.

I always thought that it's important to have other things, not just work, and I often even suggested my managers take some time off and come back fresh and ready to fight again.

[...] you can get anything in this world if you genuinely don't want it.

Life to me is a series of false limits and my challenge as an athlete is to explore those limits

States that rise quickly, just as all the other things of nature that are born and grow rapidly, cannot have roots and ramifications; the first bad weather kills them

And the end of the fight is tombstone white with the name of the late deceased, and the epitaph drear, "A Fool lies here who tried to hustle the East."

The pro-growth policies and spending restraint of Conservatives work.