Everybody that you can think of that does comedy, I have met or worked with almost all of them.

We need to do a better job of understanding what the world is.

I feel like little kids should and do steal money. That is a major part of being a young child.

I get a lot of credit for having succeeded as a Latina in this world, and I am not that. I appreciate it, but I'm Italian. And that does happen a lot.

Stealing money from your parents - I feel like I did that a lot and I now know as an adult that your parents knew how much money they had. Nobody was being fooled.

It's hard to narrow down your influences in comedy.

Run. Yoga. Hike. Generally try to outpace the nerves. If that doesn't work, one Jack on the rocks.

I love my job and I think my job is hard, but also, my job is such a privilege.

If I'm going one place, I want to feel like I can really get the whole vibe.

I am embarrassed to exist.

What have I stolen? Probably money as a kid.

A busy life is filled with tremendous emptiness.

A woman should be mindful that the key to one man's heart does not necessarily fits into the lock of another.

The real drug is to train like a madman, really like a madman.

Dead women tell no tales. Sad men write them down.

Speak the truth. Give whatever you can. Never be angry. These three steps will lead you Into the presence of the gods.

Be courteous to all, but intimate with few.

Ah, God! what trances of torments does that man endure who is consumed with one unachieved revengeful desire. He sleeps with clenched hands; and wakes with his own bloody nails in his palms.

But I'm not particularly comfortable around guns.

She's not a saint, and she's not what you think She's an actress, whoa She's better known for the things that she does on the mattress

What I've tried to do in politics is two very simple things: tell the truth and do what I said I would do.