Everyone I know who skis is dead.

We all know the moon isn't made out of green cheese...but if it was made out of barbeque spare ribs would you eat it?

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat and I built a boat.

A fashion plate, a rock star in his own mind, Megamind is more showman than deadly menace.

Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don't know

I have the physique a lot of people dream about having. It's my obligation to share it with the world.

Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life

I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!

I think my new iPhone 5S is broken. I pressed the home button and I'm still at work

...frankly, many times, the people that we resent either have no idea about it or could care less.

When we embrace the things that make us unique, our true and remarkable capabilities are revealed

I think one of the greatest things about the Republican Party is the understanding, we don't point fingers and we have class.

You have to pay your own electric bill. You have to be kind. You have to give it all you got. You have to find people who love you truly and love them back with the same truth. But that's all.

While the mind lives in the past and the future, the body lives in the now.

I'll always say my prayers...and if God doesn't answer them at once I shall know it's because He's planning something better for me.

Science takes things apart to see how they work. Religion puts things together to see what they mean.

For the most part, studio movies have huge budgets. They don't do anything under 30 to 40 million. When you have that much money at stake, you have so many people breathing down your neck.

The glory of wealth and of beauty is fleeting and frail; virtue is illustrious and everlasting.

Readers must be given room to bring their own emotions to a piece so crammed with emotional content; the writer must tenaciously resist explaining why the material is so moving.