Everyone, in some small sacred sanctuary of the self, is nuts.

The first printed mention of bagels... is to be found in the Community Regulations of Kracow, Poland, for the year 1610 which stated that bagels would be given as a gift to any woman in childbirth.

We see things as we are, not as they are.

I learned that it is the weak who are cruel, and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong.

What's green, hangs on a wall and whistles? [A Herring]

Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty.

The purpose of life is to matter, to be productive, to have it make a difference that you lived at all-using the talents that God has given you for the betterment of others.

The purpose of life is not to be happy, the purpose of life is to matter.

I sometimes think there is a dimension beyond the four of experience and Einstein: insight, that fifth dimension which promises to liberate us from bondage to the long, imperfect past

A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead.

If at first you don't succeed, before you try again, stop to figure out what you did wrong.

War?' The word held too much definition for three letters.

Paul patted Mrs. O'Leary's snout. The living room shook —BOOM, BOOM, BOOM—which either meant a SWAT team was breaking down the door or Mrs. O'Leary was wagging her tail.I couldn't help but smile.

Every hill becomes a mountain when one has to climb up it.

Happiness is a side effect of doing something that has nothing to do with it.

I have a pathological fear of being on my own. When I'm with my own thoughts, I start to unravel myself, and I start to think really dark thoughts, self-destructive thoughts.

Rather than assume that the wealthy are a monolithic, selfish and unfeeling lot who must be subjugated by the force of the state, set a tone that encourages people of good will to meet in the middle.

Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting.

I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.

Joan Rivers, who said to Marcel Marceau, Can we talk? Never got a dinner!

You've got to keep yourself in prime physical condition, because fatigue makes cowards of us all.